Dear Oh Me, Oh My
Woman commits adultery because of my book
I’m very sorry to say that since my wife had read your book on
Quitting Church Without Quitting God, she has completely thrown the
baby out with the bathwater when it comes to Christianity.
What’s worse was that when your book denied the doctrine of eternal
punishment, my wife had found your theology liberating enough for her to
sleep with another man, and then later ask for a divorce and justify the
whole thing based on the worldview presented in your book.
I realize that her problems are much deeper than having read your book,
but I am horrified when it was used by her to justify herself in this
If there is no consequence for sin, then anything goes, it’s all good,
and "all dogs go to heaven." That’s how it has been with my wife since
reading your book. The effect of your book in her life can be summed up
in one simple phrase: "Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow we die."
Perhaps this wasn’t your intention when you wrote it, but your book does
have a negative impact on weak-willed women like the one I had married.
She got your book as a gift from another woman who has used it to find a
better way toward living an anarchistic lifestyle apart from the church,
and ultimately apart from God.
And yes, I also believe that going to church has nothing to do with
one’s salvation, as I am not religious in my beliefs. However, I do
believe in the necessity of Christian fellowship in which believers are
to use their gifts to build up the body of Christ of which we are all
Was there a reason that you used weak-willed nutcase "Christian" women
only as the "straw-men" in your book?
You would have had much more credibility had you interviewed other
theologians on the subject of salvation.
I may be off base, or even wrong in saying this, but I get the sense
that you hold some very strong presuppositions about the sovereignty of
God which have molded your thinking when it comes to the doctrine of
Unfortunately, the results of those presuppositions hold some extremely
negative consequences for those who read your books. The consequences
are so bad, that I believe they have the potential to have an eternal
impact for those who aren’t mature in their faith.
I believe that God is indeed sovereign, and in His sovereignty He has
graciously chosen to give mankind volition to love Him. This concept is
inescapable when reasoned from the full context found within the
I’m not trying to blame you for the problems in my marriage. I am simply
telling you that your worldview is being espoused under the banner of
"Grace" by others who don’t want to be accountable before a loving God
for their own actions.
If this is not your intent, which I hope it’s not, could you please
clarify your position on this?
Thank you for taking the time to read this.
I’m sorry your wife left you, but it sounds like there were many more
issues involved than my book. I do not tell people to leave
institutional religion and then forsake their families. I tell them to
leave institutional religion and then replace the void with right
teaching and a more intimate and knowledgeable walk with Christ. I can’t
help it if your wife dashed off before she grasped my whole message. I’m
sorry she did that, but it’s not my fault. I have a feeling there were
many more issues involved that you’re not telling me about.
That your wife "threw out the baby," tells me that you believe I did
have "the baby" in my book. My book comes with baby included. If people
throw it out, what can I do? Not tell the truth? Let me get this straight. You’re suggesting that the lack of the
false doctrine of eternal torment caused your wife to fornicate? If this
is what you believe, then the cure for fornication ought to be the
widespread teaching of the false doctrine of eternal torment. Well, the
false doctrine of eternal torment has been tried now for a couple of
millennia, and I don’t think it’s working; I can’t see any decrease in
fornication. In fact, according to news sources, it’s on the upswing.
Apparently, you don’t realize how loudly the world laughs at the crazy
God of Christendom, and how this false teaching about Him has driven
people to despair, suicide, and many things worse than fornication.
There are consequences for sin (we reap what we sow), and I never said
there weren’t. That someone would read that into the book is
unfortunate, but again, not my fault. The same thing happened to the
apostle Paul. Eternal separation from God is not a consequence of sin.
Jesus Christ died to take away the sin of the world. Apparently you
don’t believe He succeeded. What else am I to conclude? I believe Jesus
Christ took away the sin of the world, and you don’t. r />
Never have I taught, "Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow we die."
Yes, I said to walk away from institutional religion, and I stand by
that. But I also said to replace it with the true Christ. In the book, I
relate how my wife and I left "civilization" to ride bicycles across the
United States. We left to grow closer to one another and to God. We did
not leave so that we could ditch God and go our own ways. I’m sorry that
your wife failed to grasp this.
The "nutcase" Christian woman in my book is not a straw argument, but
rather the honest belief of Christians. I presume you’re speaking of
Sally in the "Reporter and Sally" conversation. If Christians were
honest, this is how they’d sound. They’d sound like Sally, no matter
their gender. This is their belief. Truly, it is this wacky. But none of
them are honest enough to say it. What you consider straw is in reality
honesty. It is the honesty that is repulsive to you; you can’t believe
it’s that bad. But it is. I’m glad it repulsed you. I had to create an
honest Christian because none exist. I’m glad I did—it got to you. Now I
wish you’d stop and think about it.
Concerning my presuppositions about the sovereignty of God: they were
all wrong. I had to give up my presuppositions when God introduced me to
Scriptures like, "God gives to all, life and breath and all" (Acts
17:25). What is so hard to understand about that verse? Which of the
"alls" are you going to modify? That God controls all is true. Read
Romans 11:36—"All is out of God." Why fight that? (Let me answer the
question: Human pride.) And yes, this certainly did mold my thinking
when it came to the doctrine of eternal torment—it made me realize that
it couldn’t be true. Then I found scriptures proving that it wasn’t. I
encourage you to order my book,
Martin Zender Goes To Hell. It
will help all this make sense to you. Read it with an open heart. I am
confident of good things concerning you.
No one loves or seeks God apart from God. You have no verses on man’s
freedom of volition to love God, yet I have verses stating, "Not one is
seeking God" (Romans 3:11). Only God can cause people to seek. Wake up,
sir: Your faith is a gift from God (Romans 12:3). You didn’t earn it, or
work it up. God gave you the very faith it took to call on Him. I pray
that you come to realize this. Until then, you will continue to believe
it was some wonderful well of faith within yourself that saved you, and
you will continue to walk in pride, however artfully you’re able to
whitewash it. To me, this is more disgusting than fornication.